Thinking

Jealousy And God, Can They Co-Exist?

I am a very competitive person.  I want to win, especially if I am told that I can't or provoked in some other manner.  This has proven to be very successful for me in the past, although sometimes a burden.  I have recently come to ask myself whether all this competition is fueled by competition or by jealousy.  Or maybe it is the competitive side that sparks the jealousy.  The Bible even says, "Then I observed that most people are motivated to success by their envy of their neighbors...." (Ecc. 4:4)

It's not as if this is a new discovery.  I know I have a problem.  I have been a jealous person for as long as I can remember.  It's simply part of my nature (or maybe nurture).  I want to be the best.  I want to be most liked.  It is not that I am insecure about myself - I just want to be the best.  What's even more interesting is that I have never been jealous of my friends' success.  People who I consider acquaintances or who I don't know, absolutely, but not my friends (God must have intervened on that one or else I would be a very lonely person). 

The real question though, is not why I am like this, or even how to fix it.  We are always told that jealousy is wrong and bad, the Bible even says so.  But, the Bible also gives account of God admitting to be a jealous God.  I am so confused by this.  God cannot be evil and therefore cannot have any evil aspect of his being.  So, how is it that we are so sure that jealousy is wrong when God is indeed jealous?  When is it right, or even okay to be jealous, and when is it wrong?  Can there be a distinction?

(Seriously, any comments...)

I Am

This is such an amazing and true song:

I Am *
(by Nichole Nordeman 2002 Ariose Music)

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.
You watched my team win, and watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Elbow Healer, Superhero, come if you can
You said, I Am

Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10 pm?
You saw my mistakes and watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my best friend
You said, I Am

You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said 'forever' to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2 am.

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
Oh, Shepherd, Savior, Pasture Maker, hold on to my hand
You said, I Am

The winds of change and circumstance
Blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel you nearer

When life had begun I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
Who can say when, but they'll dance again
When I am free and finally headed home

I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End
I Am, I Am

Content

I have learned that writing is all based on the heart.  It doesn’t matter if you have astoundingly, intellectual papers filled with copious enlightening and inexplicable words.  It doesn’t matter if the writings came from the hand of a Harvard graduate or the hand of a ten-year-old boy.  I have learned that it is the content that makes a person and it is the content that makes a person’s writing.